I left Hawaii the same way that I moved there; impulsively, running away from my problems, leaving a mess behind.

I’m still denying it.  I’m still trying to tell myself it hasn’t really happened.  I still hope to wake up in my box cluttered studio in Waikiki, wake up from this nightmare, the same great mistake that I just keep making, stuck in a loop.  I want to wake up in my old apartment in Cincinnati, with the past two years just a dream, because I haven’t learned anything; it’s just become more complicated, more painful.

I left my job, stable income, benefits, insurance, just up and left without notice.  I left school, halfway through summer course, a class I loved, was excelling at.  I left my apartment, newly acquired furniture, everything still in boxes, all my things, all my things left behind.  I left my friends, more friends than I’d ever had before, left family both real and adoptive.  I left everything.

I had everything and I gave it up because all I ever do is run.

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3 Responses to Run

  1. Samantha says:

    One day, you will turn around and face whatever you think is behind you…and it won’t be near as bad as you think. *hugs*

  2. Melissa says:

    I don’t know why, I didn’t realize you were moving…I thought you were simply visiting or on an extended vacation to Ohio!

    No matter what you feel over your decision to run, just keep looking forward. For better, for worse. Don’t look back…yet.

  3. Thanks for the support. I hope to return to Hawaii someday a better person.

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